"Nevah Seem to Hold Up So Well," "Turkish Soap Opera," and "All Dese Notions"

Nevah Seem to Hold Up So Well

Offering crappy support
in da face of wun onslaught

can be even moa damaging
den any flood or rising tide.

 

Ask any woman who has been
on da receiving end of dat deal

and she will tell you
dat just tinking about it

can cause da heart to weep
before da eyes do.

 

Maybe dere’s wun destructive history
dat forces her to lessen her expectations

cause dere’s no serenity
floating on da surface

behind his poorly constructed dam.

 

One would tink
dat wun life saving barrier

is someting dat she would want

especially if swirling watah
wuz wun threat to reach up to her neck.

 

Dere’s been too many
engineering failures

and it looks like she’s gotten used to
swimming wit da raging current

and is now willing to take her changes
in da muddy runoff.

 

She doesn’t have faith anymore
wit anyting dat he builds 

cause all dose levees made of dung
nevah seem to hold up so well.

 


 

Turkish Soap Opera

She’s watching wun Turkish soap opera
and gasping at da drama—

“I can’t live without you, Gumus.”

 

Meanwhile in Ankara

da Russian ambassador to da country 
just got assassinated

and da program is interrupted
wit wun special news bulletin.

 

Looks like someone
is getting serious about Syria

and is angry about da genocide.

 

“Dem crazy ragheads are at it again”

is wat wun Midwest redneck
is announcing to himself

wen he hears about da same event

and runs da result
through his bias mind filter.

 

Da only problem is

he doesn’t know da difference
between wun Arab, Turkman, or Kurd.

 

Not to be outdone

wun East Coast jokester
tinks dat it’s wun shame

dat wun country
named aftah wun delicious bird

could be so hostile.

 

Da woman in her Istanbul residence
could care less

cause she just missed da whole episode

of her favorite program
dat she wuz really enjoying.

 

As regular broadcasting returns

dere’s some satirical comedy show
dats now on da air

featuring Trumpanzees
swinging through da trees

while American flags
are flying in da breeze.

 

Da housewife
clicks off da remote wit wun shrug

and looks foa someting to eat in da fridge.

 


 

All Dese Notions

Dey no can define it
cause it exists in wun ethos or attitude

so dere’s no need foa dem to summarize
and put everyting into place

as if dey wuz arranging
wun box of chocolates.

 

Left up to dem

da rebel spirit
would go walking out da front door

dressed in wun conservative suit.

 

It’s good to know

dat da owners of tattoos
and diamond studs in dere ears

got wun hand
in shaping da world too.

 

Da wheels of wun Harley
is just as efficient as wun Cadillac

in getting someone
wheah dey need to be.

 

It’s quite obvious

dat it’s wun constantly changing
paradigm

and wun whole lot of variety
is revolving around its action.     

 

So just pay attention
to wats in front of you

cause all dese notions
are self-revelatory

in watevah kine of life
you eventually come to choose.

 

 

Joe Balaz writes in Hawaiian Islands Pidgin (Hawai'i Creole English) and in American-English. Some of his recent Pidgin writing has appeared in Juked, Otoliths, Snorkel, and Hawai'i Pacific Review, among others. Balaz is an avid supporter of Hawaiian Islands Pidgin writing in the expanding context of World Literature. He presently lives in Cleveland, Ohio.

 

Edited for Unlikely by Jonathan Penton, Editor-in-Chief
Last revised on Tuesday, March 14, 2017 - 22:47