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Derision

it's these things
you do
that push me
outside of distraction
these things
that make me
sear smiles into my skin
these little
confessions
that rip me
from my ledge
these stupid
unspoken
requirements you have
that deem me worthy
from one moment
to the next
these incongruencies
that remind you
of how much like me
you really are
the way you push yourself
with sugar comments
sticky with lies
into my space
while i choke down
my screams
and carve another notch
into my mind
it doesnt matter
it doesnt matter
so i'm broken
so i'm crazy
you never looked beyond
into that uncertainty
anyway
you are all labeled
with others' names
and you think i dont notice
it's these small bindings
these leashings
that corner me in my own solitude
it's these promises
that i cant turn into lies
that weigh me down
but not half as far
as i'd like to be
not enough
to lessen the absence
of sincerity
to muffle the
clarity
of mockery
that rings in my head
unsaid
unsaid
my empty hands
are clenched around
crushed visions
that i saw
in dreams
where everything
everything
is empty

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