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I AM

I'm friends with Elly Higgenbottom
because she says I AM.

Oh, here comes the psychiatrist,
what divine words shall he speak

when I tell him if you touch me,
I'll scream and scream and scream.

You'll say I used to like your touch
before I met dear Elly.

His words have graced a clipboard,
oh, I've really done it now.

Where will that bed take me?
What horrors await my visit?

Punished for drastic thoughts, that's why
I fight to harbor feelings.

Oh Elly, he will come for me.
His command will be 'lie down!'

My response is hidden, unprepared.
I'm sheltered with no weapons.

Elly, where's that dingy basement?
That dark hole where you rested?

I need to take a moment.
A moment just for me.

He may decide that I am selfish
because I am not him.

Doctor, if he kisses me,
my scream will pierce your heart.

I know I used to want that kiss,
but desire lost to loathing.

Not because I deem him bad
nor judge him to be good.

Doctor, I don't want your drugs.
You never asked me who I was.

Elly, let's just go away.
I know that you're my friend.

They tell me that you don't exist
but you said you understand.

I know you know that we are friends.
That's how I know I AM.

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