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October 20, 1999

Smoked trout
French bread
Salad
Diet cola & diet ginger ale
Michael McClure
Amy Evans McClure
Leslie Scalapino
Tom Carey
Bill Berkson
Bob Ebert
Nancy Victoria Davis
Long stem roses
"From an Admirer"
          Happy Birthday Phil

A day the world should celebrate with love & devotion

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"What is my mind is my mind"

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Admiration & affection don't necessarily give me motivation 
to live but now that I'm at a critical state 
where poetry and song are combined 
and neglect of body & mind can result in critical mortal results 
the pressure is on
I must watch my diet, look death in the eye
I can't shoot myself in the head because that would be killing 
something and I can't kill something
That would not be right
How can I prepare for dying and not encourage it? 
Being a good Buddhist is a tiresome chore

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