To the Artist's Page                  To our home page

To Scott Holstad's previous piece     To Scott Holstad's next piece

Roller Coaster

I look at the world
like frost in a windowpane,
confused, unseeing,
and I wait
for a solution
which will never come.

Bipolars either 
Go!  Go!  Go!
or
wait.

I
went
pretty hard
last month
and now they've
gotten me back onto
anti-depressants
in addition
to the Neurontin
and Klonopin
and the occasional
Xanax.

I'm waiting for the
        morbid
        morose
        gothic
        weird
        deadly
to overtake me
and the anti-depressants
are meant to help get
me back on my feet,
stabilize me.

Wellbutrin didn't work out
too well, so it's back to
Paxil, the wonderful
libido killer of the
universe.

I see the world
through eyes
glazed over
searching for
relief from the
ungodly pain

fuck the stigma

I just want
normalcy.

To the top of this page