An advertisement in the local press in the recent past caused a great stir amongst the thrifty women of our neighborhood. A sausage producer in the center of the city offered a new innovation to the palate, namely the chicken-sausage; it was marketed at the low cost of $1.98 a package instead of the regular price of $2.25 for those bangers stuffed with pure meat. The ad also included a guarantee that the product contained fifty percent spring chicken, fifty percent fresh meat, additives and seasoning.
Off course it was a bargain not to be missed and the good housewives trooped to their grocers and plunked down their $1.98 for a package of that brand of chicken-sausage. All were satisfied as the product was well seasoned to their taste and they created a demand for more of those spring-chicken bangers.
That announcement in the tabloids created a big sensation in the meat-producing industry. To those astute manufacturers this meat product was the most daring and novel experiment undertaken by a sausage producer; namely to produce sausages with fifty percent chicken and to market the product at a low price.
Off course, the competitors, mainly producers of whole meat sausages, simply shrugged their shoulders and laughed derisively at that daring venture. They predicted that the low price asked for those bangers would soon drive the enterprising man into bankruptcy.
However, it became evident that the competitors themselves would face the bankruptcy court and not their competitor. The chicken franks had become the rage for thrifty housewives.
The new delicacy when fried, boiled or baked did not differ in taste from the conventional brands; and the public at large had confidence in the producer's word as advertised. As a result the marketing of pure meat sausages dropped to nearly ten percent.
Within a short space of the time the Meat Producers Association called a meeting to discuss ways and means to circumvent a coming disaster. It was quiet worrisome and the participants voiced their concern loudly. Well they hemmed and hawed in heated discussion and after fierce debating of many hours a solution was devised. They decided that the advertisement was most probably a mere bluff; that it was perfectly ethical to bring the matter to the attention of the Board of Health.
The motion was put forward and it was carried unanimously. A three-man delegation was appointed to bring the matter to the health authorities. They were charged to bring their request, "to open an immediate investigation into the alleged claim of that audacious chicken-sausage producer."
The members of the Board of Health heard the vindictive words of the delegation of the meat producers. They heard their argument towards their competitor as they bellowed, "we believe that the adverts in the tabloids is not completely true in its message to the public." Their statement was discussed pro and con by the directors of the Health Authority. After much umbrage and the passing of the coin, they agreed to an immediate investigation with a slight concern for the public at large.
Within a short period of time the Board of Health assembled a large contingent of inspectors, chemists and supporting staff. Then they swooped upon the chicken-sausage producer. They had to hunt for the premises of that factory as they were vague on its address. But, after two hours of searching through the old section of the metropolis, they found the producer's site.
The factory was in the back room of a large butcher shop nestled between other shops on the ground floor of antiquated building housing workshops of all callings. Despite the run-down atmosphere of the area, it was well attended to its cleanliness and orderliness. No trash littered the nearby streets and alleys and the garbage receptacles for the building were covered and emptied twice weekly.
The army of the Health Authority trooped into the butcher-shop-cum-chicken-sausage producer, which they found to be equally clean and orderly. They were greeted heartedly by the cherubic owner as he inquired of their visit. "We have come to do a check of your chicken-sausage product to see if it meets all health regulations," they commanded.
The good men of the Health Authority followed his waddle to the production room in the back of the shop. They were introduced to Aunt Fay, an elder who was in charge of cooking the chicken and the other ingredients. Then to the butcher's older son Morris who saw to pressing the contents into a machine that formed strings of sausage. Two women packaging the product were introduced as the butcher's pudgy wife and her equally pudgy daughter of sixteen years. An apology was offered by the butcher for the absence of his younger son, as he was busy taking orders and delivering the goods.
The technical equipment was arranged and all concerned were busy in laborious analysis. The technicians peered in microscopes, tested bits in chemicals and even enjoyed the taste of a sausage cooked by Aunt Fay. However, when they tested the sausage they failed to reveal the presence of more than one percent of that delectable ingredient - the chicken.
Well, the head of the team huffed and puffed and called out in an authoritative voice, "How dare you advertise that your product is fifty percent chicken. Why, why there is a trace of only a one percent of chicken meat. The rest, according to our examination is horse meat and additives!"
"I advertised nothing but the truth," the butcher insisted in a decisive tone.
"Humph, nothing but the truth you say," thundered the irate official, "how do you figure that the advert was correct in its wording when we found the contents to be the opposite?"
"Well, it is quite simple, I use one spring chicken to every horse," answered the honest butcher. "Ain't that fifty-fifty!"
Norman A. Rubin of Afula, Israel is a former correspondent for the Continental News Service, USA. He's written on Near East culture and crafts, archaeology, history and politics; religious history and rites, etc. He's been featured in publications world wide - Jerusalem Post, Israel - Coin News, Minerva, Oriental Arts, etc. England - Ararat, Letter Arts Review, Archaeology, etc. USA - Spotlight, Japan - International B, Hong Kong. He's been a freelance writer for the past sixteen years of short stories of all genres - mystery, horror, humour, sexual customs, etc.