geese parade in late afternoon
icy light. The cat's coiled
on the table as if to share
something she doesn't know.
Last night was definitely hell.
The cat, coiled on the table is
apricot, soft as little feels.
I'm tired of looking for things
that aren't worth it. The
geese intrigue me, parading,
soaking up late afternoon
I'm tired of looking for things that don't matter:
rings, horse paintings, photo
graphs. My cat nuzzles,
shares more than she knows.
The geese, in rose light, glisten
Last night was definitely hell.
The cat knew something was wrong.
The rings, the horse painting on
orange, the photographs of my
father touching my sister and I
so lightly, as if even then there
was a softness that wasn't,
never mattered
like what was carved
on the inside of a
gold ring, the "Love,
Cara," a fragile
script. There, then
suddenly missing
like a tattoo that
was a blistery red
and blue gone
by morning. Your
blue eyes, scent of
new sheets. Pulp
of lemon leaves. I
Only know what
was, was once
a glob of blood
on my finger.
There, like an
ex boyfriend,
hanging around,
lost without
that red, that
piece of heart,
cold and stony
as he was. He
doesn't know it,
thinks he was
the Valentine
in exchange for
the one between
my legs. He
sees himself as
a donor heart.
Couldn't under
stand giving any
of his body as
a gift, not the
heart, as a beating
gift from a stranger
gift wrapped in
sutures and
bloody gauze,
or the heart I
couldn't get to
open as long as I
have waited for
this ruby
Lyn Lifshin's recent prizewinning book, Before It's Light, was published winter 1999-2000 by Black Sparrow press, following their publication of Cold Comfort in 1997. Another Woman Who Looks Like Me will be published by Black Sparrow-David Godine in September 2004. Her poems have appeared in most literary and poetry magazines and she is the subject of an award winning documentary film, Lyn Lifshin: Not Made of Glass available from Women Make Movies. She is working on a collection of poems about the famous, short lived beautiful race horse, Ruffian. For more information, her web site is www.lynlifshin.com.