Dear Chris,
What's up? You will not believe
who called me last night. Your girlfriend.
I got home and my mom told me
that some girl named Sara called.
I was racking my brain trying
to figure out who the hell Sara was trying
to get in touch with me. Chris
I'm scared, man. I see that you also called
me yesterday, twice. I can't believe
she actually phoned my home. Man, what if she outs me
to my folks? Your girlfriend
is crazy. You need to keep your girlfriend
in check, man. I was trying
to call you. I know whenever you call me,
it must be bad, and her finding that story, Chris,
was bad. I cannot believe
that you were so careless. When you called
last night, I was on my way home when you called.
I thought for sure you threw the story away, my friend.
Now she knows about us. Did she believe
you when you were trying
to explain that we've never done anything, Chris?
You gotta do something. I don't want her to come after me.
I checked my e-mail today. The crazy bitch e-mailed me.
I figured out that when she called,
she said Ciara and not Sara. She asked, "Are you still fucking Chris?"
I mean, what the hell, man? I told your girlfriend
that we're just friends, and that I'm in a relationship. I was trying
to cushion the blow a little bit. Seemed like she believes
me when I told her that you love and care for her. I believe
she's still a bit peeved at you nontheless. Give me
a call when you think all is clear. Keep trying
with her. She'll come around. I hope she hasn't called
me tonight. Let me know if you need anything. I'm your friend,
man, and I love you. It would devastate her, Chris
if she were to ever find out about me and you, Chris.
How could you be so careless my friend?
I can't believe you. Are you trying to get caught and called out?
I cannot tell you how sorry
I am for what I did.
I know you were completely freaked
Out about it. It all happened so fast.
I wasn't going to throw a rock through your window
Or anything. I was just going to look in the window
To see if there was a light on. You lied, Chris.
You said you were going to bed, but I passed you last
Night turning on Lake Bradford. I'm sorry,
But I just had to follow you. I freaked
Out by what you did,
Lying to me and all. You won't believe what I did.
I slept with the boy with the automatic windows.
When we got to his place, he freaked
Me out with all the leather and spikes, Chris.
Please don't hate me. I'm sorry.
You should know that last
Night I really beat myself up over it. I'll need a cast
After what that crazy man did
To me. He said if I leave, I'd be sorry,
But I'm already sorry. I could see from the window
That your light was on, Chris.
So what were you doing you, freak?
That guy was such the freak
Last night. That's the last
Time I go home with a leather boy, Chris.
I don't care where you went or who you did
It with. I love you. I drew a heart on your window.
Did you see it? Sorry
For cheating on you. I know saying that I'm sorry
Won't cut it. I'd understand if you don't want to speak
To me. I left a note taped to the window
Of your PT Cruiser last
Night begging to be forgiven for what I did.
It says, I love you, Chris
Written on the last line.
I talk of how sorry I am
For what I did and being a freak. Check your window.
Dearest Chris,
I must say that I was surprised
to see you at work today.
You've been working everyday
this week, really. You looked so
tired, man. I went by your apartment.
Crystal's car wasn't in the parking-lot of your apartment,
but I did notice that the light was left on, Chris.
Can you believe how hairy I've gotten? I'm so
poor, I can't even afford to get a haircut. I didn't want to surprise
you by showing up on your job. I think of you everyday,
man. Can't believe you have to spend the rest of the day
at work, and all of tonight. Wish I had a day to day
job like yours, and an apartment
to throw parties in. Can't wait until that day
that I'm finally on my own. A day, Chris
doesn't go by that I don't get depressed. I'm not surprised.
I've always been that way. I'm so
sick of my life. You know, I'm so
surprised that Crystal is still around after finding that day,
the story. So, she's still not talking to you? Are you surprised?
I didn't see that beat up old car of hers at your apartment.
So will she be around on Sunday, Chris?
I know you said you would let me know what day
would be best for me to come over, but da-
ng, man, I miss you. I have a surprise, so
we need to get together. I'm headed off to the mall on Saturday, Chris.
Think I can bring it by one day
this week? Not to your apartment,
'cause I know Crystal will be there. That would be quite a surprise
if I showed up with gifts for you, Chris, and there she is. Quite a surprise
indeed. What you should do is tell your boss that you need a day
off. This is why you're always sick. Go to your apartment
and get soome sleep, dog. And so
don't trip if I stop by with some chicken soup, but only on a day
that works for you. I don't want Crystal to find out, Chris.
So, Chris how does Sunday sound to
come by your apartment with my gift?
I can't think of a better day than that.
Shane Allison is the author of five chapbooks of poetry, I Want to Fuck a Redneck being his most recent from Scintillating Publications. He has had poems published in Suspect Thoughts, Velvet Mafia, Mississippi Review, Best Black Gay Erotica and others. He has work coming forth in Best Gay Erotica 2007.