BOUVARD: You are the embodiment of wild desire. You'd look great even in pajamas. If I'd met you first, I'd be with you, but I'm with her, and she's the best for me.
ALMA: She's the best for you? You've got to have an edge to love? I'm not good at loving with third-party people. Have I been here before?
BOUVARD: We get caught up in our feelings when acting with other actors.
ALMA: Leave it alone, Bouvard, the geography between us is a shield. Don't cut yourself off from wild desire. I've done it.
BOUVARD: I'm faithful to love, but it's not going to control me, just because all things have sex. It's torture to worry about us cheating.
ALMA: Too stressful, to be honest. Too stressful to be honest. I love this crush.
[She takes a drink from a tall latte.]
BOUVARD: Hard in this life, you've only one body.
ALMA: Only one flag, only one life, only one leaf. Good line, Bouvard.
BOUVARD: I want to coddle...I mean cuddle you, well, both, but I know you have a natural feminine, non-toxic, body-pure immunity to adultery.
ALMA: You're right, I am careful about hygiene. It's a thing with me, but [unctuously] if I was to be unfaithful, it would be with you.
BOUVARD: You, you, you…at least, you're not dumb. Blind, maybe, but not dumb.
[He takes a sip from her glass.] ALMA: True love's an exotic club, that's for sure, and we've got the talent for it.
BOUVARD: [He rises.] True love is just a romantic notion.
[She finishes the drink.]
ALMA: Keep it up.
BOUVARD: Do you give heart? [His line overlaps hers.]
ALMA: I struggle to keep house. I do everything but cook. I can spend the whole day reading in bed. No reason to find someone else, besides me.
BOUVARD: And people have everything, including self-sabotage. [He sits.]
ALMA: Why are you fidgeting?
BOUVARD: [straightening himself in his chair] My pants are too tight in the crotch.
ALMA: If I had to choose between my survival and my dignity, I'd choose love.
BOUVARD: [wistfully] Yes, I miss the hungry years—but not too much. Then, you don't have time for love?
ALMA: No, but you encourage my wild side. [half rising with excitement] There's a charm in love affairs. Fun to be with you. Pure passion. Endless. Reckless.
BOUVARD: A kiss from you couldn't hurt, babe.
ALMA: With kisses come consequences. [slumps]
BOUVARD: I know you could cook my perfect omelet, too.
ALMA: [ignoring him] Once, I went on a date with a guy. Walked on the beach. I kissed him, but he didn't call. Wished he had. I took my blouse off. Had on a plaid skirt and boots. Took off one boot because he wanted to see if I had cankles.
BOUVARD: Cankles?
ALMA: He wanted to see if he could tell where my calves left off and my ankles began. I knew he didn't have balls.
BOUVARD: And I'm playing the part of a…I just feel intoxicated by my desire for you. I could kiss you all night. [nonchalant] Just a physical fact.
ALMA: [She puts both gloved hands over her ears.] I can't hear a thing you're saying.
BOUVARD: It's nothing, but all the same, a kiss from you couldn't hurt, babe.
Dim light. Sparks fly.
