my brain and my body
left me
for that inevitable
rendezvous
(opposites attract)
a dinner date
under a scorching moon
on the menu:
wild sixty niner
caviar
oyster delight
they went there hungry
devoured each other
salivating
gulping
genital delicatessen
i don't think
they are coming back
I feel like someone's infected spit. Drip on me please, I beg you, just melt. For me. Or wave over me like some voice you hear when you see that blinding light, centred like a clit in the night. Right in the middle of the highway carpet ride towards the lightning where we all get shocked out of our wits because we finally woke up to the breakfasts of champions who never were. Should I go back to where I started or should I shed memory like skin, down the disgusting pipelines of the psych? Or should I go back to spit? Spit on a clit. Spit raining on me, raining so hard I cannot bear the arousal. What is so fucking amazing about feeling human? Taking a shit, puking vodka ,licking last night's sperm ,still stuck in toothbrush routines and hourly engagements such as burning yourself with a kettle twice, and feeling. Oh fuck…feeling. If poetry and art could be perceived mechanically the sense we would make from it would be an abortion. So I just listen to Rammstein and drown in sound. It´s so dark I can't even see what I'm writing. Some Sci-fi horror on TV again. I just feel like licking my wounds until there is no hope for them. Maybe that alien can come and spit that acid on me. Hope just dresses you up for a party where no one shows up. You sit in the corner like some little man tate without the brain. Just feeling, feeling you up, feeling you down, feeling you until you wish for permanent anaesthetic until the day you die and start living and go to makro. Big bulk is heaven. Security is god. Guilt are just chains that keep you shopping for pain in big bulk and search for that item in every rack that makes you wake up at 3 am and feel so awfully alive. Flash lights are so awfully overrated it's like a hand of a person that doesn't exist. Ease up, lighten up, torch up, explode into a circle of light on someone else. Spot light on. Relationships are the only rational way to realize there´s other people around. I fucking love you. Life. You stink. You drip. Again on me. Sperm and fat and blood and crusts and cholesterol and nicotine. I really do love you. I love you like that last bit of wine in my glass. I hang on to you like I hang on to that wine, threatening to leave. That red is like the red of life lost. That is where the secret of life lies: in the colour of menstrual booze.
if the memory of you
could be custom-filed
in the cabinets of my lonely heart
and a bachelor basement flat
i would put you in a plastic bag
deprive your vessel of dignity and air
and hide you under a brick
at the bottom of the toilet bowl
Cecilia Ferreira is a fine artist who lives in Africa. She is overly infatuated with life and its secrets and she's constantly searching for that awful, beautiful thing called "the truth". She wants to find the truth before it finds her. She never stops creating, because if she ever does, her outlets will turn inwards and then she would be fucked. Her main gallery is the internet and her visual art has been published in numerous internet magazines. She recently started writing in English. She uses bad grammar and makes a lot of spelling mistakes, but luckily poetry doesn't mind. Her poems can be read at http://kaganof.com/kagablog/category/contributors/cecilia/.
Comments (closed)
bigbrother
2008-06-02 20:00:37
it is curious there is like a coincidence :
me i can say that to discover a new
dimension of love in the arid desert
in my life where a puppet is either
an oasis either a mirage
now i try to take a shower in imagining
that i am a woman who is washing is hassle
to learn a true compassion
because she is ill of not having love
enough and endure humiliations
... it is softer and my new kind
of high level sprituality ...
... that knowledge
because i have believed like other that
"we can suffer for a great cause"
but i think it gives a tendance to desquilibre
if you forget that physical suffering is more
important than "dignity" or to say that
better it can give a better sense of "reality"
and know to live with my suffering with my
"mama" and my "dada" and everything people
are saying i have find an idea that can be nice
by thinking to every young woman or mother
that have a fear not to be enough good or "consitute" for their childrens i think it a part
of a secret in adults relations
sometimes i have fear to be your prisonier but
i think that it is perhaps a nice prison
among the others prisons their is like
the oxygen of a little plant in the
bunker of my soul who is suffocating and where
i smoke cigarettes and sometimes telling to
my cigarette "are you here darling you don't talk" and as she doesn't answer then i smoke it
i have try to find something to communicate
and then my suffering could serve to someone
... in the next episod
chewbacca
2008-06-05 05:38:34
the brain of chewbacca or r2d2 or CP3O or Luke or Dark Vador or Obi-Wan Kenobi or yoda or others must speak is suffering in a way that
i can not know what to do if the brain
of leia is suffering
and chewbacca doesn't know try hasn't the habilities to find solutions
just R2D2 and CP3O
just( wait that all sorry
i am sure she has friend and chawbacca hasn't the the inlillegigence he try a primal cry but obi-wan sau "wait'
every body wust became what he wust became and that all ... AHHHHH
chewbacca love star wars he is primal like a primal cry and chewbacca know has a primal fear of "laws" he wan't to destroy as he has fear to be destroy by the cause by the dut CP3O have said with obi-wan
a good "law" is "every body must became what he is must and hope
CP30 must t§ake a controcol with R2D2 that the only way a primal scientist has find to permit
to the "primal family" to rebirth inspite of the destiny
of the destiny of his family
chewbacca
2008-06-05 06:00:24
chewbacca
is serchîng to make distinction
between the empire and the
R2D2 can became crazy but he is like
a child who has lost THE FAMILY an orphan
nad has see entrailles and ordures and
and chewbacca and yoda and vador and obi-wan
and perhaps others wanna do ara kiri but hope
yoda obi wan chewbacca luke han solo leia cop3o
r2D2 bblluppp bi bipp echo sos
1 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 2 + 0 = 0
and Pi is trancendant in the perimeter of the
circonference of a circle
chewbacca wanna learn with r2D2 to pronocon pi
and CP3O must know the nuwber of gold
they all love coherences not mathematics
coherences is like philosophy
must retrieve
doesn't support in a coherent brain no coherence
create cardiac uncoherences for a sensitive jedi
must find protection
like the cpatain flam to find protection
captain internet is not a woorld of feeling human
dangerous for the heart
`
stop
chewbacca
2008-06-05 06:11:32
chewbacca is learning again
FUCK YOU IF YOU TRY TO KILL CHEWBACCA
FUCK YOU ALL
YOU WILL BECAME WHAT YOU MUST
LIKE EVERY HUMAN MUST BECAME
CHEWBACCA LOVE HUMANS TRUE HUMAN
FUCK YOU TO SAY I LOVE YOU FUKCING
HUMAN
OR ARTIST SCIENTIFICS PSYCHO|OGIST BOUDDHIST
YOUNI-WHAAAAAHHHHH
OBI-WHAHHHHHH
CHEWBACCA DOESN'T NO POETRY
BUT CHEWBACCA
WILL LEARN TO USE WITH CP3O
TO USE THE SHERIF IF THE
FUCK
S HAWW WHAAA
CHEWBA QUOI
FATOUA
OBI-WOOAW
SPLALLSHH
SMASH
CHEWBACCA
NEED CP3O AND OBI-WAN AND YODA