The Opium Suppositories had just bought a bunch of coke, cooked it up into crack rocks, and then drove around the seediest parts of town in search of crackheads who would commit obscene acts in exchange for the drug. With a vanload full of junkies, they pulled back into their drug house and invited them in. Ian and Mary were drinking red wine in the living room when the junkies and Opium Suppositories stumbled in. Aaron, the lead guitarist, started the whole scenario off. Before long the house was flooded with chemical smoke and they had camcorders set up recording crackheads licking toilet seats, giving each other rim jobs, throwing shit at each other, chasing down skunks with machetes and hacking them into pulp only to get blasted with fumes, cutting off their foreskins with cosmetic knives and chewing the skin like gum, sewing buttons into their ball sacks, stapling their nuts to kiwis, but most of all, smoking crack. Eventually Aaron got too stoned and told the crackheads to chase Mary down pinching her ass and squeezing her tits for fifteen minutes for the remainder of the crack. They did, and eventually it was eight crackheads chasing a woman down the street, their stained and scarred hands all over her. Ian got pissed and hit Aaron over the head with a frying pan, knocking him completely out cold. When he came to he was furious and in withdrawals and had no more coke so he challenged Ian and Mary to a drag race through a currently abandoned construction yard in the middle of the night. They too, furious about what had happened, accepted the challenge, but not before calling Gill and I to moderate the race. It was sunrise when we arrived at the construction yard, and had to rip down a fence to get in. I had a pair of shit-stained boxers to use as a flag to start out the race, while Gill sat in the car slurping beer and smoking camels. He wanted to go back to my apartment later, since I had ejaculated my entire paycheck up for four bottles of high-powered absinthe that was sitting in my closet, and he wanted to get drunk off of it. I didn't really care- he'd pass out on the floor after one drink. Both cars sat at the opening to the construction yard, revving their engines. I lifted the soiled boxers and swung them down, sending a chunk of shit onto Aaron and his flunky's windshield. They both sped forward, veering in all directions. They were drunk, stoned, withdrawn, suicidal, nuts, you name it. Aaron would clip Ian and Mary's car from time to time sending them smashing into the concrete partition. Ian's estranged attraction and ire took hold when he lured Aaron and his turd boy down a hill and through a tunnel. Aaron's car spun into the darkness of the tunnel and collided with a huge concrete block, exploding into flames. Ian and Mary's car spun through the darkness, dodging dark obstructions until it screeched to a halt in the dusty sunrise. The two looked at each other, then got out of the car disrobing. They fucked on the hood of the car, conceiving their first child in the process. Meanwhile I pissed on the flames of the wreck, drunk out of my mind and thinking about crack, trying to tune out the blaze.
