Edward my Love,
Please forgive me for saying you had syphilis,er,I mean Hepatitis. That was unfair. I know that true love is the most important thing in the world to you. That is how I know we were meant to be together. If you have a venereal disease, you can take precautions. You should use protections. You know, condoms, rubbers. I forget.. I saw the interview you did with VH1, you looked tired. I told you to eat more foods with anti-oxidants. My grandma is calling. She has leukemia. I have to go!
Love,
Jamie
xoxoxox
He ducked into chumley's. His sunglasses were too dark. He sat down and checked his email messages.
There was one from an old bandmate who was in poor health. Poor guy. He never had a chance after that summer. The summer he would rather forget. He felt guilty. He didn't like feeling guilty. He wouldn't think about it.
He was thirsty.
He started drinking. He drank faster. A group of women recognize him and start talking in loud voices.
They use his name in lewd sentences. They gesticulate in odd ways. It seems odd to him. Why don't they just come up and talk to him like a normal person would. Why always the stupid games?
"Eddie."
A tall woman was standing over him in stilettos.
"Can me and my friends join you?"
"Sure. Why the hell not?"
And so they came and sat across from him. One of them tried to snatch away his sunglasses but he caught her arm and she gave him a surprised look. He made it up to her by complimenting her deep salon tan. He wondered how long before she had skin cancer. The thought of it repulsed him.
The woman in the stilettos tried to squeeze in closer. He knew he would fuck her, but not her friends.
He couldn't give them that impression though. He would give them the impression he would fuck them all. He would charm them and ask them about their lives. He would lean back in his seat and let them think they had entered his world.
They hailed a cab. He held the taller woman back and after the other two entered the cab he shut the door and he walked with the woman into a restaurant across the street. They ordered something. He can't remember what.
Now he was fucking her. She kept trying to get some kind of eye contact. He kept trying to get her legs out of the way. So leggy, this one.
Swami Cooper,
Today was a weird day. I saw a kid laying on the sidewalk bleeding. He had fallen off his skateboard.
He gave me his phone number so I called his mom. Later I heard he needed stitches but no broken bones. That was the only thing real that happened to me. Everything else was make believe. I met a friend for lunch and we had a make-believe conversation. I watched a reality show that was also make-believe. On the radio I heard a band doing a cover of one of your songs. I tried to put on some false eyelashes. I couldn't stop thinking about the kid, because his blood was real. Is that strange?
Hugs,
Jamie
In the bathroom, he examined the scar that ran diagonal across his left bicep. He felt it's contours and listened as the woman dialed her friends. They would be hurt. He assumed. She whispered in low tones and so he made a little noise. He flushed the toilet. He ran the water, brushed his teeth. She knocked on the door timidly.
"Eddie?"
"Uh,yeah?"
"I was thinking I should go. It's nearly noon. I have to pick up my son from preschool."
"Uh,yeah, sure thing.It was really nice. You're ..."
The door to his condo slammed shut.
He was going to say great. Maybe he should have said she was useful?
No, that would have been... brutal.
Baby,
I just read you grind your teeth at night! I do that too! We have so much in common!
I had to quit my job at Target. I worked in the snack bar and the smell of popcorn makes me nauseous.
Don't worry I'm not pregnant. I just don't like that smell. The pretzels were ok, though. I'm going to miss those. Is it true you were a Freemason? That seems odd. I don't know anything about it but I'm sure they helped you through those rough years you spent in and out of rehab. I'm going to an adult erotic entertainment convention with my roommate. She's a little unconventional. I'm going to stay up late to watch a rerun of your last appearance on Rock Gods.
Love, Jamie
Eddie was bored. He was waiting on a royalty check from a skateboard endorsement he made seven years ago. His mortgage was overdue and two of his motorcycles needed repair. He smoked a joint that the woman with the stilettos had left at his place. He logged on to his email and started to write a letter to the mysterious Jamie.
Jamie,
It's Eddie. I snorted so much cocaine that I have a fake nose. Plastic surgery is really amazing these days. Please don't tell anyone. The skin graft doesn't blend in with my natural skin tone. I don't play music much anymore because I'm in excruciating pain. I have Fibromyalgia. Someone told me too much diet soda causes it. My days are bleak and lonesome.
I miss the love of a good woman. I watch re-runs of The Wild Wild West and chew aspirin while shivering naked in my gold-plated bathtub. Anyway, I hope my honesty doesn't freak you out.
Eddie
He waited for three days but there was no reply from the mysterious Jamie.
His days passed in a blur of whiskey sours and microwave pizza.
A month later he heard back from her.
To whomever it may concern,
I don't know who hacked Eddie's email, but I don't find this funny at all. I feel sorry for Eddie with this outrageous invasion of privacy. After all, rock stars are people too. I am blocking this email-address. Eddie, you know where to find me.
Sincerely,
Jamie
