Good Nudes is Good News
by Norman A. Rubin

(Voyeurism is a healthy, non-participatory sexual activity. Naked people are very nice to be seen. The possibility of voyeurs seeing people in the nude is the best way for sex in an emotion with notion.)

Men and even women, throughout the ages, have always been fascinated by nakedness. A case in point is Peeping Tom, the eponymous voyeur who dared to gaze upon Lady Godiva, wife of the Earl of Mercia, when the good lady rode naked through the streets of Coventry on one fine afternoon. Legend has it that Tom was struck blind; that it was sanctified punishment for delighting in the pleasure of the eye in the sight of an unclothed charming female.

Peeping Toms comes in many varied forms; whether as the nineteenth century-spinster, a spy glass pressed to her eyes, searching a distant sea for naked male swimmers, or in this day and age, a photographer whirling low in a helicopter, again and again, over a nudist camp.

The book The Thousand Nights and One Night praises a woman whom has a perfect waist and must be plump and lusty. With cheeks of perfect oval, she will have an elegant nose and graceful mouth, her neck long and swanlike; her breasts are full and firm, her belly in good proportion. She must have white smooth thighs and firm buttocks, a waist of fine shape, the hips large and full and hands and feet of large elegance. If one looks at a woman with those qualities in front, one is fascinated; if one looks from behind, one is smitten with pleasure. Looked at her sitting, she is a rounded dome; lying, a soft bed.

Among the women of nomadic tribes of Northern Africa a nude man is appreciated by the sight of a broad chest and a member, strong, vigorous and hard. The virile penis, to please the sight to a woman, must have as most a length of the breadth of twelve fingers, or three handbreadths, and at least six fingers, or a hand a half breadth. A man whose cock is of fewer dimensions cannot please the woman's sight.

In ancient Greece, nakedness was tolerated among the people; at religious ceremonies they disrobed at the temples in the purity of their bodies, and at the gymnasia, athletic men performed their physical exercises completely in the raw, proud in the display of their genitals.

But the Romans practically worshipped nudity and wherever decorum permitted, the ladies and gentlemen would doff their togas and robes and have jolly Bacchanalia rites i.e. "The murals of Pompeii where Roman citizens are pictured having a jolly good time as naked as a babes." Only at the dawn of the new faith was the curtain drawn to the sight of naked flesh.

But there were exceptions to religious taboos in the medieval period, i.e. In a district of Transylvania, when the ground is parched with drought, some girls stripped themselves naked and led by an elder woman, also naked, would yoke themselves to a plough and with ritual ceremony try to the evoke the rain gods. A stranger (preferably male) passing through Kursk, a province in southern Russia, before the revolution, would be stripped and thrown in the near river; the poor chap would be dunked, his genitals rubbed in mud - all in ceremony to appease the goddess of fertility. Still both rites are still in practice in some parts of India today where naked women dragged a plough through the field at night with muddied bodies, while the men of the village discreetly close their eyes. (Probably they have a Peeping Tom during these sacred rites.)

The Doukhobors, a religious sect, originating in Russia in the 18th century, had migrated to Canada to have their religious freedom. They have a pleasant twice-annual ceremony where the women would disrobe and parade around the market place to show off their finery in their exchange of husbands. The Canadian government in the later 19th century was no so pleased with their rites, so these good people eventually moved to a South American country. (Probably Brazil where they competed with the annual nude showing of the Carnival.)

It was recorded in the early seventeenth century that men and women in the wilder parts of Ireland went naked except for a rag of linen covering the privy parts and a loose mantle around their shoulders. In Merry old England to the nineteenth century, men who bathed in the sea or river did so quite naked as a rule to the delight of passing women. Oxford dons and undergraduates in that period had their cherished place at Cherwell where it was a long tradition to swim, and lie in the sun naked.

The attitude towards nudity changed quite rapidly, especially during the Victorian period where the ascendancy of body taboos caused a deep interest in the nude body to flow in some fairly odd channels. i.e. The Reverend Charles Dodgson, author of Alice in Wonderland (1865), derived special satisfaction from photographing children in the nude. The infamous Lord Ward's favourite pastime was to gaze for hours at his beloved wife (an English beauty) as she lay naked - except for her jewels - on a sofa draped with black satin.

Little Miss Muffett
Sat on tuffet
In a naturist sort of way;
When a policeman espised her;
And a magistrate tried her,
And? THE THREE FORMED A 'GROUP' RIGHT AWAY!

After the First World War a new phase of nudism appeared on the horizon - sunbathing camps where members enjoyed the cool air and waters on their nature's covering. Nudist magazines were available on the bookstalls, even though the naked figures (on the covers) wore swimsuits, but inside it was voyeur's delight. In England, the National Sun and Air Association held its first congress (of naked delegates) in 1932. And in the not so-wild Western USA, Sally Rand dude ranches catered mainly to women only attired in wide gun belts, boots and ten-gallon hats.

Oh, there was hue and cry against these nature camps. Righteous Grundys, both male and female attack these dens of iniquity with a flurry of pamphlets, "In a Nudist Camp" (somewhere In England), or the 'Naked Truth' by a indignant English clergyman who wrote, "the servants wore aprons to make clear their lower social standing." Yet when nudists held a summer conference at Harrowgate England in 1947, the roads in the nearby vicinity were lined with automobiles from roofs of which gentlemen and old ladies peered anxiously at the group through opera glasses.

Their American cousins were no better and righteous gentlemen and little old ladies in white sneakers spied out the nudist camps and wrote scores of pamphlets against them. In one pamphlet, that was written in 1935 by a Rev. Burley "The Naked Truth, by an Eye-witness", the most convincing accusations were about 'the terrible food' to which the author devoted an entire chapter, i.e. "a plate of one sausage, half cold, with potato, also half-cold served by naked hostesses around the swimming pool." But, the dear reverend was quite disappointed as there was no sex in the camps he visited, "I have to admit that I saw nothing objectionable... in so far as the conduct of the people were concerned, apart... from their absolute state of nudity. Perhaps if we stayed a bit longer we would have seen more."

The poor sunbathers had also had to put up with the ribald assault of entertainers. One burlesque act at the Globe in Boston told of a comedian whose one liner tickled the funny bones of the audience, "I've got a job in a nudist camp - I keep the stone benches warm for the members." And in England, Gracie Fields sang, "What can you give a Nudist on his Birthday".

Those were the days when 'Good Nudes were Good News'. Then in the naughty sixties, streakers were frolicking about in the all-together to the annoyance of the constabulary; and in Woodstock young lithe maidens bared their breasts which jiggled to the beat. But, alas today, with the show of band-aid strips of bikinis at the beach, topless (and sometimes bottomless) waitresses at our dining tables, and male strip performances at woman's social gatherings, the delectable sight of the naked body that thrills is a thing of the past.

Pass the Playboy, please.

"Just a bit of ribbon - such a tiny little thing,
Not as tightly tied, as ribbon should be;
So when I dance, I shall wear things that divide,
With things like ribbons, you see.."

Norman A. Rubin of Afula, Israel is a former correspondent for the Continental News Service, USA. He's written on Near East culture and crafts, archaeology, history and politics; religious history and rites, etc. He's been featured in publications world wide - Jerusalem Post, Israel - Coin News, Minerva, Oriental Arts, etc. England - Ararat, Letter Arts Review, Archaeology, etc. USA - Spotlight, Japan - International B, Hong Kong. He's been a freelance writer for the past sixteen years of short stories of all genres - mystery, horror, humour, sexual customs, etc.