pride & prejudice
a rhetorically subversive intertextual study
1
I wonder whether Fitzwilliam Darcy
wanked off
visualising Liz’s bobbling, cascading midriff-
disdainful of how he might
otherwise lower himself
to fuck her like common fodder
2
I wonder whether Miss Elizabeth Bennet
sat in her bedroom with her sister Jane
discussing penis sizes & syphilis
amongst the aristocracy-
after a quick history lesson
on the widespread use of prostitutes,
servants- both male & female, farm animals etc-
would she prefer to marry some one
untainted
rather than for love?
3
I wonder whether Austen died
a virgin
or was duped by some slippery villain-
would her heroines today
be as headstrong?
as straight?
as elitist?
would their cunts be as articulate
as their tongues in conveying passion?