To the Artist's Page                  To our home page

To Shane Allison's previous piece     To Shane Allison's next piece

Responding to Timothy Liu's The Size of It

I admit that my penis is of average length but I don't feel 
	Inadequate about it. 
I don't go into public toilets, stand at the urinals to study 
	Men’s dicks
And compare them to my own shlonge wishing I had a few more 
	Inches. 
I realize I will not be called in to do porno films or sex scenes with 
	Sharon Stone. 
And if Jeff Stryker took one look at me, he'd laugh and say, 
	Are you kidding, who is this guy? 
But who needs a cock the size of Texas?
	I'm perfectly fine 
With the size of mine. It's easier to manage. No tangles. 
	I haven't had any 
Complaints from sex partners. As a matter of fact, I've been complemented
	On my penis 
On many occasions. I've been with some men with a taco size prick 
	And it takes 
Them forever to come. I guess the longer the dong, the longer it 
	Takes spunk to 
Travel down the slope of their urethra. I don't spend hours naked looking 
	At my cock in dressing rooms
Or comparing my genitalia to more professional ones from some Penny's catalog.
	If you're so insecure about it, why don't you 
Order one of those vacuums they're always advertising in the back of  
	Skin mags?  I hear it's fucking painful but after a few                             
Weeks, you see miraculous results. But oh, you’ve tried that and nothing. 
	Should sue their asses for false advertising or something. 
Try stretching it out for an hr before breakfast every morning. 
I saw a guy on National Geographic tie his dick around a set of barbells 
	And left them off the ground. 
I crossed my legs for his pain.  I saw a hole the size of a quarter drilled in one 
	One of the bathrooms where I used to go to college. 
Above it, in red permanent marker, it read, Chinese Glory hole.
	I said to myself, "What asshole, ignorant fuck 
Would write that shit" This, after I had gone down on Trent, a very attractive 
	Asian dude who was about to get his degree in Business any minute.  
Look, Tim, I've been with some guys who only want me cuz
	They think I have a big cock, but I prove them wrong by 
Pulling it out to make them look like even bigger jackasses.    
	All I know is, I'm happy with what I got 
	And don't regret one inch of who I am.
	You shouldn't either.

To the top of this page