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the shallow end of the gene pool
 
i remember when i was younger
and my father told people that he
married my mother because he needed
someone to knock the shit
out of his underwear
 
i found that funny back then
but as i got older, it slowly dawned
on me that i came from the
shallow end of the gene pool
 
and no matter how hard i tried
to overcome those odds that were
stacked against me since birth
 
it always felt like i was just 
spinning my wheels, making no
progress at all
 
so, i’ve decided to just face facts
 
i’m in my late twenties
single, no kids, living at home
with my mother
 
i quit
 
i no longer am looking for that
“dream” woman
that bundle of beauty and brains who
has the uncanny ability to handle
all my hereditary shit
 
i now only wish to find a woman
who can give my hands a good
five minute break
 
which i’ve found is a
pretty big challenge
due to the fact that out of all
the “gifts” my father bestowed upon me 
i guess the gift of a bigger dick was
simply out of the question

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