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To Jim DeWitt's previous piece

Butt-Busting Moments Explode

When ordinary ice cream is acrid on the
tongue. As sand dunes creep back up off
the highway. Now see Papa striding from
the tavern booze-freeze. Marvelously, the
stillborn infant coughs into lusty cry-
ing life. And unlikelyhoodwise, Patrick
Henry is seen zipping up his britches.
Hah, the Red Ryder Range Rifle has shot
Ralphie's ear holes lots wider. Notice
how DaVinci loves taking nighttime strolls
carrying his kerosene lantern. Yes, that
deadbeat-dad doll has become Laura's
favorite plaything…What? I'm sensing
you have much doubt about my veracity.
Then best you go riffling thru your 2003
edition of Guinness…