Party Voucher

3

For all the good name he had earned as a politically promising zhiqing, Ming had something hidden in the backyard of his heart, which was his love for a girl zhiqing, no less than an unspeakable agony.

Her name was Hua, also a graduate from the same high school. The day Ming saw her in Mayuhe, he was blown away as much by her good looks as by her sunny character. However, as all romantic relationships were discouraged, if not completely banned, he had to hide his affection even from himself and concentrate on “revolutionary production” exclusively, as the local people and especially the Party branch had expected.

Though he never dated Hua, or even had a private talk with her, Ming strongly felt that he had a unique unclaimed or unpronounced relationship with her. As a couple of other girl comrades later pointed it out to her quite jealously, he not only spoke to Hua in a different tone and looked at her with something special in his eyes, but he also showed a sincere concern over her wellbeing. On several occasions, he was seen to pick out the fried eggs or mushrooms from his own rice bowl and give them to her in an unconscious fashion, when such dishes were as rare as meat and fish on the dinner table. Likewise, Hua seemed to like him more than any other boys, as she appeared to be particularly delighted each time he said something to her, especially in a half-serious half-flirtatious way. As one of their common friends noted, they were really a loving couple.

To articulate his intense feelings, Ming did write a couple of love poems for Hua, but he never showed them to her or anyone else. For him, his top priority was to get his Party membership first at any cost, because that was the surest way for any youths, including all high school grads, to become a “worker-peasant-soldier” student of a university during the Cultural Revolution. His plan was, once he became certain about his university admission, he would make a confession to Hua in no time, who he assumed would readily accept his marriage proposal. As he saw it now, his own future as well as Hua’s both depended on his effort to earn the official title of a “model zhiqing,” hopefully at the county level.

Fortunately, Hua seemed to understand him well. As if they had mutually agreed beforehand, she kept waiting for him to pursue his political interest first and gave him no pressure in any form. But Ming was sure of her feelings for himself. And the most telling proof was a red tuner she had given to him, a gadget extremely rare back then, as a practical gift to help him learn to play the erhu in the summer.

“What’s this for?” Ming asked her.

“Just to help you to set the tune,” said she meaningfully, in a tone full of warmth and tenderness.

Without saying anything, Ming accepted it as a token of love, which he would treasure like his own life. It was from that day that he felt doubly motivated: he would continue striving for the Party voucher as much for Hua as for himself, as it stood for the best possible future for both of them.