ICYMI, Part VII
“At first the thought terrified me, having my face disseminated to screens across the world, that no matter what the hour, people were seeing me, were laughing at me, were horrified by me. And that even when I'm gone my image would remain for others to despise. But then, this idea gave me some comfort. That if it wasn't me they were laughing at, if I had not been known, if I had not had to face my tormentors, they'd be laughing at someone else, someone different.”
Edward
A Different Man
1:26:24
***
Back when tigers used to smoke, I woke up with my t-shirt and boxers soaked in sweat after a heavy spooning session with my cellphone, rc, lighter and wallet. Menage a’ quatre or vice addiction? You tell me. La Lintzi used to call it body time when she was the center of the world or occupied whatever side of the bed I wasn't thrashing around on in my sleep.
It’d be an understatement to say that I've been relating too much with Vincent Van Gogh as Willem Dafoe, that these catecholamine storms are distant thunder without rainfall or lightning.
But so comes the low vibrations of an encroaching stampede. I can hear Misha snoring under the bed, the neighbors stabbing the ceiling, the voice of Old Nick running roughshod over my hopes and dreams.
The ugly truth of this, is that I remember very little, I've forgotten so many infractions that even numerology/neurology can't make a case for me.
The conventions of polite society have interceded on their own behalf. Now, I can be redundant without being aware.
Let's practice practicality for practicality’s sake. Try not to spell it that way. Try not to spill it like sake.
I'm just a QR code printed on a brown paper bag.
Before our nuptial, La Lintzi found herself teaching English in S. Korea, and we lost touch for interspersed moments, as I was in Florida living with an older woman and her 4 children from a progressively toxic marriage.
There is no major victory without a minor loss. The scales must balance. I am always, and forever will be part reptile, part mongrel in the grand scheme of life
I try explaining all this to Brynn Mahr way too early in the process of getting to know each other-even going as far as quoting myself in spite of making post production edits/explaining my actions later. I’m trying to be more abiding when it comes to interacting with delicate people. I’ve begun drinking Shirley Temples in lieu of Beer Hug IPAs from 7-eleven. I spend too much money on honeybuns and electrolytes; I spend more money on Shirley Temple med grade gummies at the dispensary, since I quit drinking…
I argue with La Lintzi about efficiency in spite of available time and resources. I confidently stand on my word while things escalate over the phone and on the television. I’m watching highlights from the Mask vs. Mask match in AAA’s PLE: Noches de las Grandes.
Ultimately, the real El Grande Americano unmasks the Original El Grande Americano in what is praised as a Match of the Year candidate by Pro Wrestling Illustrated, Wrestlepro, Chris Van Vliet, and whomever else had the fortune to maintain focus and dial in when the real one’s face is shown to a suspecting audience.
I've been looking for a good fight lately…
Mason’s been harassing me about my medical card and marijuana usage, and I’m afraid he’s eventually going to say some bullshit about my THC levels being higher than what is deemed medically necessary.
I’m paranoid, right?
I’m reaching here, I’m extending my dirty hands across the globe, looking for proper counsel. La Lintzi is too close to the situation and I don’t trust many people with true intentions when it comes to conflict.
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