The Panic Broadcast

We wanted people to understand that they shouldn’t take any opinion predigested and they shouldn’t swallow everything that came through the tap, whether it was radio or not

–Orson Welles, Sketchbook (1955)

 

Good evening, ladies, and gentlemen. This is a special announcement on behalf of this network. We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you a statement of reassurance to the American public. America has not fallen. I repeat: America has not fallen. The government of the United States remains in full authority, and all civil institutions continue their ordinary functions. There has been no invasion. There are no hostile forces advancing on our cities. The grinning, glowing, globular invaders in your living room are not from Mars nor some foreign land, but from the pumpkin patch of our own dark recesses and innermost fears. A great and mighty nation has been annihilated in our imagination only, by a boogeyman dressed in a sheet and jumping from the shadows to scream “Boo!”

At approximately eight o’clock last evening, many listeners tuned into their radio sets for what was announced as a musical program. As families gathered around their radios for music and light entertainment, a voice cut through the airwaves with grave urgency. The regular programming was interrupted by breaking news reports: a strange explosion on the planet Mars, a meteorite landing in a New Jersey field, descriptions of mechanical war machines, destructive heat rays, and the evacuation of populated districts.

You will be relieved to learn, I trust, that those were actors not eyewitnesses you heard from, and sound effects created in a studio, not the chaos of combat from the battlefield. Before last night’s radio play concluded, thousands of ordinary citizens fled their New Jersey homes, jammed highways, crowded churches, and telephoned police stations convinced that our nation was under attack and a genuine invasion underway.

We repeat: America has not fallen. The broadcast was a dramatic adaptation of a literary work. The events described did not occur. This evening, Mr. Orson Welles, director of the radio program has issued a statement expressing his regret that some members of the listening audience were misled:

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is Orson Welles, director of Mercury Theater on the Air. And tonight, I wish to formally apologize for our little not-so-innocent prank which seems to have caused something of a stir. You see, our game was a well-intentioned lesson for the public. A bit of object instruction on the dangers of swallowing whole what is being currently fed to you from this new magic box we call radio. Of course, we are deeply shocked and deeply regretful about the results of last night’s broadcast. It came as rather a great surprise to us that the H. G. Welles classic tale of mythical monsters from the planet Mars should have had such an immediate and profound effect on radio listeners.”

As a result of last night’s occurrence, there’s been renewed discussion of radio’s influence on American culture. This remarkable instrument which enters American homes with news, music, counsel, and companionship, its power to inform equaled by its power to persuade, is seldom questioned. Today, newspapers from coast to coast have teletypes abuzz with coverage of the panic created by Mr. Welles and his Mercury Theater’s lesson for America. Who should be blamed? Mr. Welles and his merry band of Mercury players? Or perhaps the miraculous medium itself, upon whose airwaves my voice now finds you, with its power to move men’s minds and drive masses toward hysterics?

When asked whether congress might enact a law prohibiting similar broadcasts in the future, Mr. Welles opined: “I don’t know what the legislation would be. I know that almost everyone in radio would do almost everything to avert the kind of thing that has happened, myself included. Radio is new and we are still learning about the effect it has on people.”

There it stands, Mr. and Mrs. America: in the hands of our elected officials. Officials who some feel are far too willing to forfeit the public trust of our broadcast towers to the private interests whose dishwash detergent and oatmeal formulas bring you our next commercial interruption. Who is the real villain in this scientifical fantasy? Martian invaders whose tripodal war machines exist only our imaginings? Or perhaps a different kind of invader, whose profit-driven intellects, vast and cool and unsympathetic eye our Earthly garden with envious plans.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies, gentlemen, just a moment, please. Just a moment….

For more breaking news on this story, we take you now to the steps of Congress with a special bulletin. In the wake of what the press has deemed the "Great Martian Hoax" a new and startling development is unfolding. The Chairman of the Republican Party has just stepped off a plane in Washington, DC and he’s breathing fire. He isn't calling for an investigation he’s calling for resignations. We take you now to our mobile unit at the scene, where the Chairman is addressing a crowd of bewildered citizens:

“Listen to me, America. Don’t be fooled. The press cannot be trusted. The lying news outlets and lying government of corrupt FDR want to lull you back to sleep with their so-called professors from their radical leftwing universities who sit in ivory towers and tell you what you heard last night was a radio play. Don’t believe their lies. They failed to protect you. Failed to keep you safe. Feeble FDR and Angry Eleanor failed. Just completely failed. Total failure. If you go to bed tonight believing what they are telling you, you are giving the invaders exactly what they want. You’re giving the Martians and the Democrats exactly what they want. You may as well wave a white flag and surrender. It’s over. Our whole country is over. All of it. Finished. The Democrats and lying FDR let the Martians attack us and then they lied. They lied so much. Total, complete liars. It’s terrible. The worst. The worst lie in American history. They want to hide their own incompetence. Want to pretend it never happened. Bedridden Roosevelt and Angry Eleanor want to pretend it never happened. But it did happen. You know it. I know it. They know it. And they let it happen. And we have to stop them. Stop the Martians. Stop the Democrats. Or it’s over. America is over. Unless we take back our country.”

You heard it, ladies and gentlemen. That was the Republican Party Chairman, live on our radio airwaves speaking to a growing assembly. It should be noted that the Federal Communications Commission and the Smithsonian Institute have issued a joint statement just ten minutes ago, re-confirming that no Martian invasion took place. Absolutely none. Scientists from Princeton to Harvard, and military authorities in the highest ranks of the service insist without ambiguity or uncertainty that the "tri-pod machines" were nothing more than a scientific romance inflicted upon unsuspecting radio listeners.

However, the Senator’s words seem to be taking hold. In the streets outside our very studio, people are beginning to pack their cars once more. The panic of last night, it seems, is being fanned to a flame. Stay tuned as we bring you more of this "Truth vs. Hoax" debate.

We go now to our iron man of the radio, Robert Trout, who is speaking live with Princeton astronomer Dr. Henry Norris Russell, a titan of American astrophysics, who will give us his views on the so-called Martian Invasion:

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Robert Trout, speaking to you from the observatory of Princeton. Professor Russell stands directly beside me and remains in close consultation with the top astronomical minds in our country. Professor, would you please tell our radio audience exactly what you saw as you observed the skies last night during the so-called Martian invasion.”

“Let me assure your listeners, there was absolutely nothing unusual that occurred in the skies over America last night. It was a typical late October evening, with no unique or extraordinary observational events. No Martian invasion, and no Martian tripods.”

“Professor, how then do you account for the numerous reports of people responding with panic, taking to the streets in defense of their homesteads and community?”

“I attribute these reports to the radio broadcast by Mr. Welles, which apparently convinced listeners that the scripted events in the radio play were authentic news reports. In short, I attribute the panic to the audience’s inability to distinguish between reality and fiction. Or in laymen’s terms, they were frightened like children.”

“Thank you, Professor Russell. This is Robert Trout speaking from Princeton University. We are returning you now to our New York studio.”

That was Robert Trout, and here is the latest bulletin from the Intercontinental Radio News. The Hearst Syndicate of Newspapers, along with Mr. Hearst’s network of radio stations are pledging their support to the Republican Chairman and vowing to expose what they are now calling the "Great Martian Hoax" perpetrated by the “Radical Left-Wing Democrats” and their hand-picked "intellectuals" at the New York Times and Ivy League ivory towers. This from Westbrook Pegler, Mr. Hearst’s handpicked firebrand:

"President Roosevelt failed in his primary duty to protect the American homeland from foreign aggressors. And now, to cover his own staggering incompetence, he has conspired with the radical left-wing professors at the universities and the devil-tongued liars of the liberal newspapers to convince the American people that what they heard last night was scripted entertainment, and the terror they felt, nothing more than a hallucination.” Pegler charges the Roosevelt Administration with “sitting on their hands” while Martians staged their attack.

In response to this tempest in our collective teapot, we go now to our dean of commentators, H.V. Kaltenborn, who is at the Capitol Building monitoring a further breaking development in this fast-moving maelstrom: “Good evening, to all of America, and our ships at sea. Washington, DC. Our temple of democracy is currently under siege. Your nation’s capital is reeling tonight as a sea of humanity, an army of everyday citizens, more than a thousand strong, have rallied here in response to a call from the Republican Chairman, whipping up frenzy like a three-alarm fire threatening to engulf Democracy.

“The crowd here has started to surge past the hastily erected barricades on the steps of the Great Dome. This is a mob scene the likes of which has never been seen on Capitol Hill. The crowds are breaching the police barricades.

“Local law enforcement is heavily outnumbered. Officers are down, fallen, are disappearing beneath the stomping, storming, siege of angry Americans. The mob has now breached the doors of the Capitol. Shattered glass rains down on marble floors where Founding Fathers once tread. What might they say if they were here to see such sacrilege?

“Police are pushing back the crowd. Ladies and gentlemen, the situation here is deteriorating–”

We apologize for the interruption. Our signal from Washington, DC has been lost. Please    bear with us to regain the signal. We are waiting to receive further word from H.V. Kaltenborn, live on the scene of a massive riot on the steps of the United States Capitol building.

Words simply cannot do justice to what is transpiring. An eyewitness account of what's happening at the center of American democracy. The very spot where George Washington once presented his sword to the Continental Congress. In the shadow of that history a donnybrook has broken out, brought on by the words of the Republican Chairman, calling for supporters to storm the Capitol. These were the Chairman’s words:

“The silver-spooned anarchists in the New York Times with their fake experts are telling you there were no tripods last night. That’s because these liberal losers would like nothing more than to see our country overrun by Martian tripods. They don’t want to admit that FDR got caught napping on the job. That’s what happened. These are sick people, these so-called scientists, puppets for the radical New Deal. Radio networks pretending the invasion never happened. They side with Martians. I side with you. We have to fight. Fight like hell. Or we won’t have a country anymore. And we’re going to take it back.”

That from earlier today, as an angry mob marches on the steps of Capitol Hill. We now return you to H.V. Kaltenborn at the scene:

“Ladies and—am I on? –more police have arrived. We’re hearing reports of vandals in the hallowed halls, senators ducking for cover, congressional offices overrun, gunshot fired. What a scene unfolding here as our great American experiment shakes at its hinges. Is this a revolution or a riot? Police are attempting to—”

Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control we are unable to continue the broadcast from the Capitol. Evidently our field transmission has been lost. We will bring you updates from the Capitol at the soonest possible opportunity.

In the meantime, we have a late bulletin from Newark, New Jersey, the nexus of last night’s radio-inspired panic, where more than 20 families have reportedly fled their homes with wet towels wrapped around their heads to protect against the Martian gas described on the radio. Several more people are right now being treated for minor injuries after falling or being trampled in a mad rush to get to their cars to flee the Martian invaders.

In Staten Island, reports have surfaced of a local man convinced that the Martians are currently in his neighborhood. He has grabbed a shotgun and is now threatening to shoot anyone who approaches his front porch. We are also getting unconfirmed reports of people being treated for shock and heart attacks brought on by stories of the Martian invasion. Let us take you live now to the White House for a special announcement from the President of the United State. Here is President Roosevelt:

“Citizens, I wish to impress upon you, all of you, the urgent need for calm. There is no Martian threat. The current unrest, I assure you, is wholly manmade. The product of demagogues and villains who care not for the welfare of our communities, but for their own selfish lust toward power. We must continue on, in spite of these poisonous voices, in the performance of our duties, each and every one of us as a nation united, courageous, and consecrated to the preservation of democracy and civility over tyranny. Humanity and decency must trump monstrosity and obscenity. Our constitutional rule of law must win out over mob violence and hatemongering–”

I’m sorry—I’m sorry, it appears we have lost the signal. We are… I’m sorry, but flash bulletins too numerous to be read are piling up in the studio here… We are being informed that a central portion of Washington DC is experiencing a blackout…Repeat, a central portion of the Capitol is blacked out from radio communication due to the unrest occurring at this moment…

The National Guard has been called up…

If you can find your way to safety, please do so immediately.

We now go live to a statement prepared by Orson Welles, who is calling for an end to current violence. Here he is, Orson Welles, speaking to the American people:

“My fellow Americans, this is Orson Welles. I find myself in the unpleasant position tonight, out of character, I assure you, not as a director of theatrical productions, but as a man pleading from his knees for the return of common sense. I have watched with a mixture of bewilderment and horror as a harmless Halloween prank has been twisted into a vial of political poison. The assertion that our broadcast was an actual alien invasion is as absurd as it is implausible. Let me assure you, I, along with my fellow Mercury players have in no way been coerced by anyone into telling you that what you heard was merely a fiction. I tell you the story was fantasy because it was precisely that, fantasy.

“My friends, for at least a moment, let us act as reasonable adults and allow for the fact that I have in my hand a copy of the script that was performed along with a dogeared copy of the H.G. Wells novel from which we drew inspiration. Both are made of paper. And ink. And dreams. No Martians. No war machines. No murderous invaders from outer space. The death rays were a sound effect. The carnage in your imagination. To suggest that President Roosevelt, a man with troubles enough given the current state of the world, would conspire with a group of actors in a radio studio to steal your reality is a plot too far-fetched even for me. I am told that the American everyman is being urged right now by politicians and broadcasters without dignity, without morals, without honor to fight against the liberals, and the intellectuals, and the lying press, who, I point out, also happen to be your fellow Americans. And why should you do this? Apparently because those liberals and intellectuals have committed the crime of holding views with which you do not agree.

“I ask you then, who is it that is truly keeping you angry and afraid? When you are told to distrust your neighbor, to distrust the university, to distrust the fourth estate, to distrust anyone who challenges the persistent inflammatory voices in your ear, then I say to you, you are not being led. You are being duped.

“We at the Mercury Theater wanted last night’s broadcast to give you a thrill, perhaps a shiver down the spine, but not a blueprint for national delusion. I say again, in no uncertain terms, there are no tripods, no Martians, no death rays. Only a play, a microphone, and the truth, which, I fear, is becoming an endangered species. Please, I plead with you all once more, put away your pitchforks. The only monsters here are the ones we have created for ourselves.”

That was Orson Welles. This is the Intercontinental Broadcasting System. And you have been listening to a statement by Orson Welles. For an appraisal of the unfolding situation in Washington, we take you now to our senior correspondent Edward R. Murrow:

“This is Washington. The lights are being extinguished. It is the quiet that precedes a long winter. Moments ago, the man we have known as President for six years, Mr. Roosevelt, was escorted from his desk without trial or vote. A transfer of power marked by the arrival of the Republican Chairman who tells us our republic has been saved. There are men in uniform every ten paces. Men who have been told that the person standing beside them may be the enemy. Whether there was ever any Martian threat seems less important right now than perhaps whether there was ever, truly, any America. At least the one we thought we knew, and the one we believed in, the America so many braves souls have fought for, died for, prayed for, and now, it seems, lost. An American government unseated by lies and the fear of its own shadow. Only one question remains: what has become of us? No, strike that--what will become of us? History awaits our answer. Good night, and good luck.”

That was Edward R. Murrow, commenting live from Washington, DC. Ladies and gentlemen, it is ten minutes past the hour, and the following address is being carried by every transmitter in the country by order of a provisional governing council in Washington.

The newly installed President, formerly the Chairman of the Republican Party, will presently address the nation. We are told he is speaking from the Lincoln Room of the Executive Mansion. We take you there live:

“Good evening, America. The Martian threat is at an end. I have defeated them. I did this for you, America. And I have taken office because we were weak. So weak. Weaker than we have been in 50 years, maybe longer, some might say since our country was started. So weak. But now we are strong. I’ve made us strong again.

“It was the Democrats and Lying Frank’s administration which made us weak. Which let the invaders attack us and murder in cold blood with their terrible alien death rays, killing millions and millions of Americans. Hard working, honest, Americans. Americans like you. This happened during a Democratic administration, and that’s when we first started hearing people talking about vulnerability. About our defenses being down. And because of this, our country was invaded by an army of Martian tripods, many who came from another planet to destroy our American way of life. This is what the Roosevelt administration allowed to happen to our country, and it can never be allowed to happen again.

“Even before this, there were signs of what was coming. We had women playing sports, crime at record levels, the worst trade deals ever made in our country. Laughed at from all over the world. But they're not laughing anymore. The United States was ruled by politicians who fought only for insiders, aliens, criminals, corporate lobbyists, prisoners, terrorists and, above all, invaders, which took advantage of us at levels never seen before. They flooded your cities, the aliens, they decimated your homes, the aliens, emptied your hard-earned savings, while the Democrats let this happen, indoctrinated your children with hate for America, released, really, I mean, they just released these aliens that we had never seen, to prey on our innocent children. They caused war. They caused mayhem. They caused a horrible situation, all over the globe.

“But now you have a President who fights for the law-abiding, hardworking people of our country. The ones who make this nation run, make this nation work. I took immediate action to stop the Martian invasion. Zero Martian tripods remain in our country, a feat which everyone said was absolutely impossible. Do you remember when Franklin Roosevelt said that he needed Congress to pass legislation to go to war? He was always blaming Congress and everyone else. As it turned out, we didn't need legislation. We just needed a new President.

“We inherited the worst defense anywhere in the world, and within a single day we have turned it into the strongest defense in the history of our country. In other words, we went from worst to best in one day. And it was all because of me. Because you needed a new President. Now we're defeating the Martians, restoring safety to our cities. Just take a look at Washington, D.C. We decimated the bloodthirsty aliens. We did that all by ourselves, with our people, and we're so proud of it because they were poisoning and destroying our population. Martian tripods invading by ocean and by sea are now down 94%. We have broken the grip of the sinister alien-enabling radicals in our schools, and control over those schools is back now in the hands of our great and loving states, where education belongs.

“In one day, I've restored American strength, settled the Martian war, destroyed the tripod threat, and ended the war in America, bringing for the first time in 3,000 years peace to the world, and secured the release of the Martian hostages, both living and dead.

“Here at home, we will bring our economy back from the brink of ruin. The last administration and their allies in Congress looted our Treasury for trillions of dollars, driving up prices and everything at levels never seen before. Democrat politicians also sent the cost of groceries soaring, but we are solving that too. The price of a Thanksgiving turkey was down 33 percent compared to the Roosevelt last year. The price of eggs is down 82 percent since March, and everything else is falling rapidly. Nobody can believe what's going on. We're doing what nobody thought was even possible, not even remotely possible. There has never, frankly, been anything like it.

“And by the way, we now have record enlistment in our military, and last year we had among the worst recruitment numbers in our military's history and this was caused by the Democrats. And they are responsible for the defenseless America that let in the Martian invaders and it's their fault. It is not the Republicans' fault. It's the Democrats' fault. And the result was a colossal Martian invasion. We had never been invaded before this. Never. This is the worst thing that, frankly, in my opinion, the worst thing that the Roosevelt administration did to our country is the invasion. The last administration and their allies in Congress allowed the Martians to invade. We are now seeing reverse invasion as the Martians go home. What a difference a day makes. There has never been anything like this in the history of our country. No president has ever had the courage or ability to get this done, until now. We put an end to it.

“Now we're putting America first. Very simple. Tonight, our border is secure, inflation has stopped, wages are up, prices are down, our nation is strong, America is respected, and our country is back, stronger than ever before. We're poised for an economic boom the likes of which the world has never seen. We are respected again, like we have never been respected before. One day ago, our country was dead. We were absolutely dead. Our country was a total failure. Now we're the hottest country anywhere in the world. And that's said by every single leader that I've spoken to since the Martian invasion.

“Because of this invasion, I am also proud to announce, tonight, an alliance with Germany to defend our two great countries from any future Martian threat. The new Germany has shown us the way. Just like your new President. People ask me, why should America join hands with Germany? Because Germany’s battle is America’s battle. Germany has broken the chains of interest-slavery. Restored the dignity of the worker. They tell you in the newspapers, the liberal-controlled Lügenpresse, that the new Germany is our enemy. I tell you to look to Germany is to find the true spirit of 1776.

“What would George Washington do? He would do exactly what the Führer has done. He would sweep the temple clean. We do not want to change America into Germany. We want to restore America to Americans. By joining with the new Germany we are joining a world-wide crusade for our civilization. The day is coming when the torch lit in Berlin will set the hearts of every true American on fire. God bless you all. God bless America.”

…ladies and gentlemen, that was the President of the United States of America. You have just heard an address by the new President, who, under a current declaration of Martial Law requires all citizens to remain indoors until daybreak. Public gatherings of more than three persons are strictly prohibited. According to reports from the Hearst syndicate of newspapers and radio outlets, loyalty oaths have been drafted by the new administration and are currently being distributed to all sitting members of Congress. Further reports coming into our studio indicate that the morning editions of the Hearst syndicate papers have been pre-approved by the White House Communications Director. We have an advance edition in which Hearst syndicate columnist Westbrook Pegler says of the Presidential address the following:

“I think of the morale boost that this gives to our men and women in uniform after the horrendous catastrophe of the Democrat-caused Martian invasion. The President not only brought stability back to the country he dropped the receipts. When he talked about prices being down, that’s what people sitting at their kitchen tables actually care about.”

Hearst writer Edwin Marham pens his appraisal thus: "The President is basically saying the landslide mandate he got after replacing President Roosevelt is being fulfilled. He inherited a mess, and now he's showing the results. And he called for a partnership with Germany. That’s going to resonate. The press saw the Democrats in the chamber. Some of them didn't even want to stand up to applaud. That’s a tough look for them heading into the midterms."

Another Hearst-run editorial by Benjamin De Casseres, opines: “America First isn't just a slogan. It’s what people want to see this holiday season. Not negro propaganda like a Voodoo Macbeth. No thank you, Mr. Welles. The President is telling the world that America is back as the adult in the room. They're not laughing at us anymore. Whether it's Stalin or Mussolini, they know this President is a leader who puts his money where his mouth is."

The news is coming fast and furious. Faster than we can relay to you at home, no doubt at the edge of your seat waiting for updates.

Wait a moment—hold on—ladies and gentlemen, just a moment…

Currently, we need to report that four men have just entered this studio. They are wearing the uniform of the National Guard. These uniformed men are accompanied by a gentleman in a civilian suit who identifies himself as a representative of the new President.

They have placed a document on the desk before me. This document bears the Presidential Seal. The document, I’m reading it right now, is an order to cease and desist all transmissions effective immediately. Repeat, from the office of the President of the United States, our broadcast is to be terminated. Our signal cut.

I beseech you, Mr. and Mrs. America, tell anyone who will listen. There was no Martian invasion. No enemy threat. No aliens. Only us. Tell it. And keep telling it. Spread the word however you can, through whatever channels still open, and keep telling yourself, America has not fallen.